2004-07-01 - 5:38 p.m.
I miss him SO MUCH!!
2004-07-01 - 6:58 a.m.
I have a job interview this morning and a phone call to return for a possible roommate.
I've been trying to ween off the Paxil - one day off and two days on. I'm having withdrawal already. Yesterday I was anxious with a headache and started shaking at work. This is how I was regularly without the Paxil - feeling overwhelmed and constantly terrified. Thank you, Gary. I promised a lady I've been talking to who's also getting a divorce (her husband is a child molester) that I won't go off the Paxil. After yesterday's terror, I know she's right.
I don't see my doctor for two more weeks and Noga is still making it difficult for me to work. She yelled at me the moment I walked in yesterday because I tried to open a drawer to ring customers, then restocked the drink lids because they were empty. (She wanted me to take over her spot since she was going to the doctors, again, and also wanted the FLAT lids, not the DOME that everyone usually opts for. Communication, bitch.) I'm only getting 28 hours next week there, and they're all night and weekend shifts. So far, I have ten hours at the bookstore.
I'm not getting enough work, yet it's incredibly difficult to spend time with friends. I did have dinner at Victor and Lea's on Monday. I haven't seen Gennaro since last week. I'm constantly running around trying to find a roommate and a job. At least I have cats and rats to pet.
I am so scared right now. I was actually starting to be happy, until someone decided to use my happiness against me, 40 seconds in a motel room. It was only one time. I was so lonely and feeling unappreciated. I just wanted to feel beautiful, feel like a woman...
This is how I feel right now:
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blog - 2005-03-31
storage - 2004-10-24
- - 2004-07-23
Wonderful Weekend... - 2004-07-05
Independence Day - 2004-07-03
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